Larsa Is Pretty Funny for an Imperial Ff12
Well Space Monkies, I, BlueHighwind am back from watching the live-action cartoon that is the G.I. Joe movie adaptation, and I narrowly avoided seeing the sequel to the Transformers adaptation. So what upcoming movie adaptations could possibly be worse? Three words: "Marmaduke, the Movie".
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sky Fortress Bahamut [ ]
Save your game, then go over to the Airship. Select the Bahamut as your destination, that will take you to the Final Boss. By the way, this is a POINT OF NO RETURN, so you cannot come back from this. The game doesn't even Save after you beat the Final Boss, like the Advance remakes do. So really, there's no point to Stealing and you can use as many items as you want. What is there to save them for?
When you agree to fly over there, a long series of cutscenes begin, including several very awesome movies, the first of which is below:
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There are actually so many movies here that it would break this page if I added Youtube videos for them all. It would also make my running commentary redundant, and I don't want to do that. Just play the game, Space Monkies.
Yes, that gigantic black swirl of darkness is the Bahamut, now the flagship of the Archadian fleet. On board, Vayne gives out his order "Fire at will, commander!" Larsa mentions that the Resistance forces have already surrendered (when did that happen?) but Emperor Vayne wants to show the late-Cid exactly what firepower his Sky Fortress can pull off. And then BOOM!! There goes a Resistance ship! "Our Cruisers cannot repel fire-power of that magnitude!" I don't really get what Vayne is trying to pull off here. The enemy has surrendered, you can still make an example of them once their captured by executing the leaders. Maybe he just really really wants to use his badass new battleship, and is worried that he might not get the chance.
And now begins the unbelievably awesome Airship battle over Rabanastre. Out comes the fighters! Things are blowing up, ships are falling. "Focus all firepower on that Super Stardestroyer!" Even Zargabaath's ship has taken some nasty hits. Is it just me, or is this scene right here more legitimately Star Wars then all of the sequels combined? I love it! I can't believe I'm about to say this... but, can't there be a minigame or something where you can fight in this battle? Make a game about all this and you'll have made one of the best games ever made.
Our own Airship flies right in and makes for the Bahamut. Ondore does a few very wooden "stop, its too rash" cries, but who feels like listening to that bastard? Balthier at the controls flies right through a couple of enemy fighters. Come on! I want to play this!!! Uch... It looks so cool, Balthier is definitely having fun. "Want to dance? Let's dance!"
Now we finally land onboard the enemy ship, its dungeon time. Well, actually no. This place hardly qualifies as a dungeon at all, since you can run through it in exactly a minute. The real final dungeon was actually the Pharos, this is just the Final Boss's hideout. Well, it makes getting to the Final Boss a lot easier, doesn't it? You can go ahead and fight him any time you want with minimal difficulty. Enemies appear, including several bizarre robot things, but there's no reason to fight any of them. They will respawn for all eternity, so just run over to the central hub, where the elevator up to Vayne's room is. God, the security on this ship is so weak!
When you get to the elevator, you'll hear that familiar clickity-clack, clickity-clack of Judge armor. Gabranth is still alive (he is Judge Magister), and even more insane now. He's a completely broken man, desperate to find out why he's a bad guy while Basch is on the good side. Well, that's obvious, isn't it? Basch stayed loyal to his side, and you've done nothing but sell him out, betray your Emperor's trust, and murder innocent people. Don't be such a cry-baby. Out of raging jealousy, he once again attacks us:
| Boss Battle: Judge Gabranth | ||||||||||||||||||
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| Strategy: This is the first of four very easy Final Boss battles, though Gabranth is definitely the easiest of the four. The battle, for the most part, goes exactly the same as the last one, with Gabranth again having a hard-on for Basch and interrupting the battle in the middle for a rant. He's very mad, but its impotent rage, he can't do much at all. 70000 HP is inexcusably low for a boss at this point, you can probably burn through it in a manner of thirty seconds or less. Remember to use "Dispel" again after the mid-battle cutscene, because Gabranth's status effects will return. He'll use "Renew" on himself, but that's really no problem at all. Even though his Defense goes up, don't use a Quickening here. There are so many more battles, you don't want to throw away your MP like this. By the way, during Gabranth's (weak) cinematic attack, he says the coolest thing ever: "YOUR LIFE, ENDS AT MY BLADE!!!" I love quotes like that. Too bad Judges just can't back up their lines with more firepower. | ||||||||||||||||||
Following the battle, Gabranth can barely stand, yet he still asks "do you give up yet?" as if the battle is going his way. Basch decides to call him by his real name, "Noah", but Gabranth refuses it. He's too evil or whatever. I don't know why he's so racked with guilt. If were given the chance to strut my stuff around in such a badass suit of armor, I'd sell my country over to the Evil Empire too. When the scene ends Gabranth turns into a piece of scenery on the ground (seriously) and you can run over to the little air-conditioner thing that is the Lift Controls. Take them up to the top of this doom fortress. Vayne is waiting.
Vayne welcomes us onboard, and then asks us a surprising, but yet not entirely unreasonable question: "who are you?" That made me laugh my ass off, I've never had a Final Boss ask who I was right before the big dramatic battle to end all battles. You know, we never did actually meet Vayne this entire game, we only watched his speech and briefly brushed up with him when his soldiers captured us. The entire time he's been off taking over his Empire and we've been bumming around dungeons looking for artifacts of a lost culture. Well, he isn't actually asking what our identity is, its the start of some angel speech, it doesn't make much sense. Ashe asks only to be free, but Vayne wants to make her example (he loves making examples). Watch what happens when somebody wants power but cannot get it. I think I've been an example of that myself, come to think of it. Where are my Wings?
Larsa however, will not stand idly by as his brother goes on a maniacal scheme for world domination. And so he will once again be our ally in the next boss fight:
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| Strategy: The Emperor himself is almost exactly like the battle with Gabranth I got to say, Vayne has got to have testicles the size of beach balls to fight three heavily armed insurgents and his little brother completely alone and with nothing but his two fists. "Yeah! I'll show these rebels who's the master. With these, man! With these two hands of mine!" Unsurprisingly, that strategy does not make for exactly a dangerous boss fight. His fists can hit as hard as Gabranth, but Gabranth couldn't hit very hard either, now could he? "Dispel" him, beat him down, victory. Larsa will be there, but he's incredibly weak with his attacks. He will still throw items though, so he's actually pretty cool to have on your side. Don't rely on that, as usual. In the middle of battle, Vayne suddenly makes a speech: "for good and all, I'm going to KICK YO' ASS!!" And then the battle starts again, with his status effects back up. He'll also use his cinematic attack, "Force of Will". "What should I do with those who oppose me, but show them death????" Who writes for these bosses? I need lines this good! That doesn't make Vayne anywhere near hard, though. | ||||||||||||||||||
Vayne falls on the ground after the battle, but you know its not over by a long shot. Larsa was not given the memo and so he runs in and gets taken out by a Nethicite barrier. Vayne now begins to swirl with dark energy and then begins his screaming transformation. When the clouds clear, his shirt is off, and you see huge... rippling back muscles... oh gross! Eww... they're even pulsating... Dude, put your shirt back on! I think I'm going to puke... Lay off the steroids, man! This is like walking around the locker room in Yankee Stadium.
Gabranth walks in, and spots the freakish muscle thing that once was Vayne. It tells Gabranth to protect Larsa, since he "will have need in the Hell to follow". What does that mean?? Its a cryptic line, and it bugs me. Unfortunately, Gabranth still has more betrayal left in him, and he turns his sword against Vayne. Now the battle begins!
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| Strategy: This is the most difficult fight yet, though that not exactly hard to do. For one, there are now six targets, though you only need care about Vayne. The other swords will fly around, every so often casting spells, but never really being that much of a nuisance. Gabranth, instead of being a useful ally, spends his entire fight running around fighting the Sephira. Set your Gambits so that your characters attack the Party Leader's target - Vayne. Or you can let your characters do whatever they want: the Sephira do not last very long against real punishment. Vayne's attacks have grown mildly stronger, and now he can use some level three magic. Still though, its not really that impressive. Mid-battle, he'll give yet another speech, this time about how we've defeated the Gods' tyranny. Yeah, I know. Fat lot you had to do with it too, Cid really did all the work. If all Vayne was after was to defeat the Gods, shouldn't we be allies? What are we fighting over? Oh yeah, he wants to be a Dynast-King, forgot. Plus he's a monster, that's a good reason. With higher HP and greater defense, this battle might take longer than the other ones, but is it much of a challenge? No. | ||||||||||||||||||
Gabranth rushes in and does a slice that looks like it should chop Vayne right in half. Vayne is not particularly pleased and says another hilarious piece of dialogue. "BURN IN HELL, GABRANTH!!!!!!!!" Unfortunately, all of Vayne's magic floating swords are nothing when faced with one tiny rock in Larsa's hands. Vaan, who hasn't said a word this entire battle, goes forward to cut Vayne up, and weirdly enough does real damage. What the Hell? Vaan is at level 12! He couldn't deal even a single HP of damage! Get the fuck out of here, Vaan, go home to your shitty hobble in Rabanastre. Don't you get it? I don't like you! I don't want you here! Go away! Get raped by a clown or something.
Outside, Vayne admits defeat weakly to Venat. "I was beaten by a bunch of teenagers, I cannot be the Emperor of the Universe like we wanted". Venat doesn't seem to care, all she wanted to do was defeat the Ocurria. So she goes ahead and fuses into Vayne's gigantic sweaty muscle-bound shoulders so that they can die together in one final glorious blast of combat. With the power of God, Vayne begins to transform yet again:
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Ouch, that looked pretty painful. I wonder if all that metal on your skin itches?
And yes, that creature is the Final Boss. Regrettably, this is the closest thing you'll get to fighting an Ocurria in battle. If they have this much power, why didn't they try to fight for their control of history?
| Final Boss Battle: Vayne Undying | ||||||||||||||||||
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| Strategy: The giant metal bat creature is our Final Boss. It kinda looked like the real Bahamut for a second there, and actually it does use Bahamut's attacks, for example, "Megaflare". This battle is special in that you cannot see the enemy's health bar, but be grateful that it happens to be really low. I know its usually insane to say that a boss with over 200K HP has low health, but in this game, that's exactly true. If they wanted this fight to be a challenge, they should have made Vayne here have half a million or more. Well at least you don't have to go back and fight through all that again, right? I didn't see any Save Point on the Bahamut. Vayne is able to use high level magic very quickly because he can use "Chain Magicks", which removes that pesky charge time. Why do the enemies get all the cool moves? His spells are often "Piercing" which means that "Reflect" is broken. Despite the fact that he runs around on the outside of this magically Hell battlefield, his physical attacks are long range, and you can hit him too with normal moves. If he casts "Faith" on himself, that means he about to make himself invulnerable to magic. "Dispel" that immediately, before the shield comes down. If he casts "Bravery" its worse, because then he's going to be immune to physical attacks. This is where "Shock" comes in - since its the best way to attack outside of physical damage. Luckily this will only happen once. Late in the battle you'll get "Perfect Defense", where he'll be immune to all damage of all kinds. Cheater! You just have to wait that out until it falls. This Final Boss has tons of cinematic attacks, at least three. They all deal a lot of damage - the last taking away 3500 HP each. But that's not really that bad if you're wearing Bubble Belts, so this is pretty easy. He also knows "Dispelga" which removes all your positive statuses (except those given by equipment - like Bubble). And umm... I think that's it really. There's really nothing here that will radically change your strategy. I notice weirdly that not a single one of the final four bosses used any status effects. That's very odd. Soon enough Vayne will be disintegrating and burning up as he's torn asunder by our sheer force of unbeatable badassery. | ||||||||||||||||||
Following the battle, everybody has a nice little breather. Is it over? Hell no! The battle is still raging since the Archadians don't know their Emperor is dead, and now the Bahamut is starting to fall out of the sky. Who can the world turn to? None other than Balthier! Vaan, out of what is only a Contrivance of the Plot is left in command of the Strahl while Balthier and Fran go back to stop the ship.
Meanwhile, Gabranth is dying, and in his last words asks that Basch look after Larsa, who is now Emperor. Where's our "thank you" Larsa? We're your Kingmaker, that means you owe us one serious motherfucking favor later. Basch, pretending to be his brother, immediately calls for a cease-fire of all Imperial forces, backed-up by little Larsa. I always get chills when he mentions that Vayne died "with honor" in battle. Did we just kill an honorable opponent? Was the idea of Vayne ruling the world really so terrible? Ashe too gets on the phone, saying that the war is over. (I like the look of sadness on the Marquis's face when he hears about the cease-fire. You know he wanted so badly to see the Empire destroyed. Why I still don't know.) "Ivalice looks to the horizon, a new day has dawned".
It is at this point that I wish some new villain would pop on the phone immediately calling for an assault, just so that this battle could continue. "This is Judge Magister Blue. Those voices on the phone are nothing but impostors fabricated by the Marquis. The war is not over... No, it has not yet begun! There shall be no dawn, but our dawn! For Archadia and Liberty, let us see these skies run red with the blood of our enemies!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
...(Sigh) That would have made an awesome sequel. And then you could fought the Ocurria, and went to Rozarria, instead they made that piece of shit Revenant Wings instead. FUCK!
Anyway, the Bahamut is still falling, and now Zargabaath decides that he must join the rest of his fellow Judges in death. He prepares to ram the Bahamut out of Rabanastre's skies. But remember Balthier? He's got the situation covered, and he starts up the Bahamut's engines once again. When called a maniac for his plan, he mentions that "I'm the Leading Man, I can't die". But Balthier, what if this is a tragedy? You fool! Fran comments that he might actually be a supporting role to which Balthier responds "Fran, please. What do you think Vaan is the hero? Only the dumbest asshole on the planet would ever consider making him the hero of a video game. If such a person existed, he would probably be out eating his own underwear in-between two slices of Wonderbread." Ashe seems almost on the verge of tears, and screams out his name. Hey Balthier, I bet you get women screaming your name out a lot, right. "Oh, Balthier! BALTHIER!!! Ohhhhh...!" The Bahamut crashes harmlessly on the side of Rabanastre, inexplicably causing a lake to form there later.
There's an epilogue beyond this ending, but once again Square included some horrible J-Pop song, and I really had no patience to listen to it. So I hit the 'Skip Scene' and went straight for the End Credits. Balthier is fine by the way, proving once and for all that he is indeed the hero of this game. He would later have a four-way with Ashe, Fran, and Penelo.
Penelo hung around Vaan for a few more years before finally giving up on him, as he obviously was not interested in those of her gender. She would marry Larsa, who was, in her words "one-hundred times the man Vaan was." Vaan also failed miserably at being a Sky Pirate, and had his ship stolen from him by a three-year-old. He would later die of his injuries after being violently raped by a circus harlequin. He was not missed.
But There is More [ ]
Oh yes, this Walkthrough isn't over yet. We still have Hunts to do, sidequests to complete, and Superbosses to fell. Just because Vayne is gone does not mean that Ivalice is safe. No, there are worse things in this world. And we have to kill them all! Turn the page!
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Source: https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Walkthrough:Final_Fantasy_XII/BlueHighwind/Part_29
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